Prostitutes Hunt Clients At Mortuaries, Funerals

Have you ever attended a funeral ceremony and extended condolences to a sobbing woman thinking she is the widow, only to later discover that she is neither a family friend nor relation of the deceased? That could be a sex worker hunting clients.

Prostitutes reveal that this new strategy of theirs is as a result of the drastic drop in business. One sex worker, Sophie Annabelle said; “If Moses cannot go to the mountain, the mountain will come down to Moses.”

Given that some clients are no longer comfortable coming to bid prices for their corporal commodity under the electric poll, sex workers have decided to go after the men.

These commercial sex workers intimated that they target mortuaries, and dress to kill in sophisticated attires like high heel shoes, expensive black dresses, sparkling lipsticks, earrings and perfumes.

Like that, they are most noticed during requiem mass offertory, dropping ‘yellow’ coins many times as possible just to attract the attention of would-be customers.

During reception, they are busybodies, serving food and chewables, but with selection and special attention to big men; business magnets, top civil servants and, above all, bush fallers, always receiving very long fake calls.

Given that the former method of perching under street spotlights is proving unyielding, coupled with the advent of online sex services and impromptu police patrols; they have adopted this funeral attendance strategy to earn a living.

These sex hawkers are ready by hook or by crook to grab aggrieved men and shake off the pain from their heavy hearts.

While the bereaved are mourning profusely for their lost loved one, they give you a handkerchief or tissue to dry your tears.

With their professional mourning tactics, they are able to draw sympathy from well-wishers and other mourners who tend to console them instead.

“If our consoler is a well-to-do man, we increase the crying and loudness, taking time to hug and hold him tighter to heat them up. If no one is focused on us, we extend our touches to some sexually sensitive zones, gradually caressing those areas to arouse the men.

“Once we realise that they are sexually aroused, we pretend to lose consciousness as a result of the stress so they take us to a secluded corner for first aid. Then, we seize the opportunity to supply our services on the spot,” another prostitute revealed.

Some do a feasibility study of the funeral ground and the characteristics of the attendants.

“Once we study and observe that a particular wealthy man cannot keep his eyes off us, we take advantage to make our moves towards them. With our short enticing and tight fitting outfits, we bend down low at every given occasion to reveal our underwear thus setting the ball rolling”

More so, other prostitutes who are nursing mothers say they go along some of these ‘business sites’ with their newborn babies, shedding crocodile tears to stir compassion and create connection.

Asked how they do to satisfy their customers with a baby in their hands, Annie Laure said they walk and work in an organised manner with their colleagues. Once one gets a client, she instantly signals the other idle prostitute to come and take the baby.

Talking to The Post, one prostitute said they do not attend just any kind of funeral ceremony. They track those families that are financially loaded qualifying them from the quality of the casket, the cars, skin texture and accent.

“In fact, you do not need the services of a soothsayer to tell that someone lives in affluence,” remarked one Natasha.


The Post Newspaper

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